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Squirrelly Side of Nature

6/21/2011

 
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In the beginning, as with all relationships, a simple gesture charmed and entranced us. A look, a turn, a sighting. We congratulated ourselves on our foresight and reveled in the wonder of it all.

And then reality raced in. Our backyard paradise, replete with robins, blue jays, cardinals, squirrels and chipmunks happily coexisting with us, the feeders, crumbled. The daily ritual of throwing out bird seed to attract wildlife had transformed our clever, fat squirrels into evil masterminds.

“I think that squirrel is up to something.” I pointed out a few weeks ago while looking out the kitchen window. “He stares right at me with a look of contempt.” Of course, my family thought I was the one with the problem. Yet, I kept track of the gray creatures as they drew closer and closer to the house with their challenging glances towards me. They were definitely plotting.

In the first attack, the ring leader chewed a hole the size of a grapefruit in the screen of our enclosed porch. He welcomed himself to the bag of seed and urinated on the furniture. Although clever enough to get in, the squirrel trapped himself inside. It took several hours to coax the intruder out.

Betrayal and outrage replaced our awe and joy. After all, what did those greedy squirrels want? They were being fed. They had to go and ruin the bucolic dream. After a second invasion via a melon-shaped hole, we appealed to the experts. Local hardware and gardening centers were amused at our distress. They shared their squirrel horror stories and offered little relief.

After a few days interruption, we resumed feeding the birds. Why should the birds suffer because some animals are selfish? Yet, it is not the same. We rattle cans and tap the windows to scare the squirrels. Our porch is immersed with vinegar to mask any enticiing smells. The bird seed has been removed to the garage. We are now hunkering down.
elsie
6/21/2011 12:17:48 pm

Too, too funny!! I guess I can relate to this story but I have not had squirrels breaking and entering. Squirrels are cute when they are in someone else's yard and bird feeders. Good luck, love your last sentence!

Christy Rush-Levine link
6/21/2011 01:03:53 pm

Your post has me cracking up. I especially love "We are hunkering down." I, too, have felt this betrayal. I can just picture the amused "experts" commiserating instead of solving. I am glad you are not giving up on those birds!

Ruth Metcalfe
6/22/2011 07:36:25 am

I am laughing so hard--this is wonderfully crafted and just plain funny! We too have had more birds than usual in our yard this year and are battling poop in places we don't want it. Also have several chipmunks that are digging my flowers and even worse, in my new garden bed! ARGG! Hubby and I are off to buy traps.
The war has begun. Good luck on your battle front.

LInda Baie link
6/23/2011 01:49:27 pm

So funny, but I have squirrel stories too-they can be scary, sad to say! Your descriptions show the downward spiral of your dream so well. I'm glad you're trying to get the priorities straight.


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